I can only vouch for bullets that I have personally tested, and my applications and priorities are different than yours.
Generally, the heavier (180-190 grain) cast bullets are more accurate, but you'll suffer more recoil, use more lead, and lose a little velocity.
I use a 160 grainer at 1300+ fps in my revolver, because a 160 kicks quite enough for my taste and will do anything I need a 357 revolver to do.
My Marlin prefers heavier bullets, with a gas check.
From left to right: 160 grain 75% meplat revolver bullet, 180 grain 80% meplat Marlin bullet, 190 grain 75% meplat Marlin bullet.
I haven't done any scientific metal piercing experiments, but in my younger days I enjoyed shooting at abandoned vehicles and such
, typically cars from the 50's and 60's when automotive sheet metal was thicker than it is today. At the time I was shooting a 44 magnum, and they usually would not penetrate, while a 30-30 or a 22-250 would easily penetrate. My takeaway was that unless you are shooting a steel core bullet or some such thing, that metal penetration was largely a function of velocity.